On the cusp of the 180s

All the swimming and gym time I've been logging is paying off at last. While my face is still looking very round, my body is notably thinner and the fat deposits significantly squishier with the exception of my upper abdomen which contains plenty of densely packed adipose tissue. 3/4 of my thighs on down to my feet are looking extremely shapely these days, and I can feel muscle definition beneath the curtain of fat on the remaining 1/4 of my thighs. I actually missed working out while we were away in Pennsylvania, and had to content myself with walking--often alone as the kids were greatly enjoying television in the hotel room.

Speaking of PA, I was a baaaaad bad girl while I was there. I indulged in Krispy Kreme donuts (which kick ass btw--nearly as good as Tim Horton's Timbits and worlds better than Dunkin Donuts), found a little shop which had TEABERRY ICE CREAM, my all time favourite. Actually, teaberry is my favourite gum, and finding it as a gum is a rare treat these days, so finding it in ice cream form was like stumbling upon the holy grail of ice cream. My weight loss odyssey is safe though, since both the ice cream and the donuts are now safely 400+ miles away. :)

Despite the relative lapse in activity level and the gustatory indulgences I was rewarded with 191 on the scale this morning. I saw 189 at one point, but my rule is to continue stepping on the scale until I see three numbers that are the same--while 189 is a very sexy number indeed, 191 was the official number du jour. I'm actually a bit stunned to have whipped through the 190s so quickly, especially since getting beneath 200 pounds was so bloody difficult. I'm starting to have mental visions of the 170s now, which is exciting since at 169 I cross a marvelous threshold from obesity to mere overweight status. Thirteen years ago I weighed 155, a number I remember well because it was at that weight that I met Paul. I felt quite fat at the time, but looking at old photos from the time, I actually looked quite lovely. The next time I see that number I'll feel ravishingly thin and I'm sure I'll be quite focused on reaching my goal, since it will be well within reach then. The nice thing about all the changes? I'm doing this for myself--to reclaim my body and feel fit and healthy--to add years to my life, and healthy years of high quality life at that. This is not to please any man or woman, not to fit into any certain size of clothing--its my gift to myself. I do admit to a lingering fantasy however--a fantasy of sending Paul a photo of myself at my goal weight, with one phrase appended to it: Bite me! He claimed to be supportive of me at whatever weight I happened to be at, but in actuality undermined my self esteem and confidence with daily snide remarks. Well Paul, look what I've accomplished on my own. Your comments didn't help me lose weight, but without your constant negativity I've done quite nicely for myself.