Fun with biopsies

As those of you who read the comments may have noticed, in recent months I was found to have a 3.6 cm mass on the right side of my thyroid, and a smaller nodule on the left side. I went through an anxious few months in the initial workup and also learned how to be as pro-active as I need to in order to get appointments in a reasonable time frame. The first endocrinologist (who I dislike for a number of reasons) kept me waiting for well over an hour for my appointment, then breezed in and spent about a minute and a half with me before zipping out again. Honestly, while he knows his stuff, he came off as a pompous ass. They wanted to schedule a biopsy in office in a month since he was going on vacation for three weeks. I had a polite fit and said that was far too long to wait to learn if I had cancer or not. They then got me an appointment with one of his partners for the next week.

I arrived for that appointment understandably anxious, but also eager to have it done with so that I would have some answers. When I requested lidocaine prior to the biopsy (since everything I've read had said that they use lidocaine first to make it more comfortable), the partner refused to give me any saying that it was quick and he uses a small needle so I wouldn't need it. Um, dude...you are sticking needles in MY NECK, I frigging want lidocaine! He then takes a quick peek at my thyroid with an ultrasound, decided where he wants to go and takes three samples. It is a deep somewhat sharp ache with a strong pulling sensation as he takes each sample, and oddly enough, even though the three samples were taken in one small area, I felt referred pain in three different places: behind my left ear, in the occipital region of my head, and up toward the crown of my head. No, he never did give me lidocaine. Because I knew the main endocrinologist was away for three weeks I told him that I wanted the results as soon as they were in, and did not want to wait three weeks--I wanted answers! He promised me he would call when they were in...and then never did. When they came in five days later the office staff refused to give me any information, saying that the doctor had to read it first. I understand that but his partner was there and was supposed to release my results. After days and days of calling the office staff, they finally strong-armed a different partner into giving me the results--the asshat who was supposed to call me finally did, at the three week mark. All that stress (which also made my asthma spiral wildly out of control) and the results were that there were no results because asshat hadn't gotten any thyroid tissue! Asshat wanted to schedule a repeat aspiration biopsy in the office and I told him pointblank that that was not going to happen. What we were going to do was schedule a punch biopsy in interventional radiology to be SURE we got enough tissue, and no, it was NOT going to be in a month, it was going to be ASAP. He said that yes, that sounded like a reasonable plan and went off to order it. You bet your lying smarmy ass thats a reasonable plan!